manifest[-ing] love

I am sure many of you have heard about the power of manifestation, perhaps through works such as the Secret . You may even have tried it with different degrees of success! Well, today I am going to delve a bit more into the complexity of this topic, from the perspective of manifesting love into our lives.

Manifestation - 

This powerful concept hinges upon the understanding that we are the creators of our destiny. That everything we need has already been put in place in the etheric realm, and is just waiting to come into being in this physical reality. That this life is all about about bridging the gap between the etheric and the physical in the journey to becoming fully anthropos, or awakened human beings who live in oneness and love with their families of spirit. 

"The only greater joy than union is...  reunion. There is an awakening that must happen here. You must awaken while in this body, for everything exists within it, and only through this awakening will you have the eyes to see and the ears to hear. Only through this awakening will you recognize and remember those with whom you are destined to reunite."  - Kathleen McGowan

All progress begins with the truth

Manifestation, to manifest - it is both a noun and a verb. Love, to love - again, a noun and a verb. Even language reflects that such things are both states and actions, and they need both a mindset and action on our part for us to truly experience them. Without action, we cannot achieve and maintain this dynamic state of grace. Such is the power and purpose of free will. Such is the power of choice. Such is the importance of inner work.

Being awakened is a state of grace, one in which we experience clarity of vision. Awakening itself however is an action and choice driven experience. It is also rarely a bump free process. In fact, for many of us, myself included, it requires a significant shift as a result of which we are forced to CHOOSE our path. If we choose in a way that is humble and compassionate, and in alignment with our individual purpose - our hearts are set on fire. It is empowering, potent, and we feel more ourselves. We inch closer to full awakening. If not, then we continue learning and healing until another opportunity is presented and we are ready to try again. Simply put, an atomic bomb goes off in your life, and you get to choose your path - awakening or fear. Which one you choose determines you path. 

Inner work is necessary for awakening and manifestation. And it is... well... work. It requires us to be brutally honest and loving towards ourselves. During this process, we learn to reflect on the past, on the painful moments, on the gifts we had, on our decisions, on our experiences. We see the part everything and everyone played, we see our weaknesses and our strengths, we know where fear lead us astray, we know when fear lead those we love astray and we have compassion for ourselves and for others though we do not have to condone their actions . We observe the dark paths we have walked, and we recognize that they could not snuff out our light. We forgive, we understand, we are humble, we are grateful. We recognize our strength. We are empowered. 

When we live from such a place, we tap into magic. We have clarity, we know who we are at this moment in time, we know where we have come from, and we know who and what we need to continue our growth. And we act on it. In every way. In our personal and professional lives, in our lifestyles, in our spiritual journey. And the universe responds in kind. Our dreams become reality.

Of course, when we try to manifest something into our lives while in a state of fear, we still get some results. But in this state, our goals are pale reflections of what we could have, we ourselves are pale reflections of who we could be. It's like looking through "un mirror obscur", things end up a bit skewed. We may feel happy that what we wished for came into our lives, yet somehow incomplete because our wish was incomplete in the first place. We continue searching frantically. Inner peace escapes us. We end up playing broken telephone with the universe. 

Compassion + A bit of my story

I don't know about you all, but I spent quite a few years perfecting my own version of broken telephone. I got to be a pro. I had opportunities upon opportunities to heal and learn, some I took, and others I missed completely, and ended up needing another repeat reminder from the universe (thanks, universe - couldn't you just have sent a text?!). Despite being slightly dense at times, I slowly began to awaken more and more to myself and my purpose. Then, each challenge that presented itself became manageable, and I kept moving forward with a growing sense of compassion for myself. For the mistakes I have made, for the limitations on my understanding, for the errors of others. 

I began to make choices out of impossible situations that were in line with my self worth. I grew stronger. I healed my body. My mind. And then my spirit came through loud and clear.

I lived and continue to live compassion. I recognize the past for what it was, and am grateful for it, pain, joy, and all. > I see the shy young immigrant girl who protected herself from judgement by building a wall of strength, and I know that she will be ok. She has learned that no one can take away her freedom, that transparency is more powerful than illusion. I understand the mother who had experienced such pain and loss that she was unable to connect with her daughter, the religious school that young girl went to that shamed sexuality out of simple fear, not hate. I forgive the man who raped her, and feel sadness for the mark that decision made upon his soul. I know that the shame her friends made her feel came from lack of understanding, denial, and fear. I extend love to the young woman who could not speak of these experiences for a long time, but who had the inner strength to not let it sour her ability to love or connect. I understand the grief she went through when she lived her nightmare and lost her best friend and father. I respect the choices she made to care for others, for her partners and family at the cost of some of her dreams. I am proud of how she stood up, in the midst of her emotional and physical pain, and put love first. I see how she needed to be there for them for her own healing, to nurture and mother. To clear the years of being emotionally closed off. To step into her own.  To become herself again. I am proud of how she helped her body heal, one patient kind step at a time.  I understand too how the loss she felt for at her father's passing that made her choose again and again partners that were unable to love but needed to be cared for.  I see how the inability to cope with stress at his father's illness drove her ex fiance to be unfaithful, I see how she made him feel inadequate by knowing what to do to help when he did not. I understand the man who abandoned a pregnant and scared woman, even when she lost their child. I know that in being unable to forgive himself for his past, he had not yet learned to love. I also understand her fear of being abandoned after everything she has lived, and the pressure and expectations that put on her partners. I am proud of how she left those unhealthy relationships when she found herself at a crossroads of self worth and sacrifice of self. I happy that she understood that time spent loving is never lost. 

Today, I can reflect on it all, the joy and the challenge, and more, and see the beauty within it. I see the lessons, the role I played, the role others played. And it is all ok. It happened as it did to bring me here, to this sense of peace. To this inner strength. To this awakening.

I have learned that love conquers all. That I have more strength and more capacity for healing that I gave myself credit for. That I am both powerful and vulnerable, that I have things to offer others, that I am fire itself. That I have nothing to lose if I make choices in line with my own truth. I know my path, my purpose, who I am. And that is a beautiful thing!

.. And yes, this is still a journey. I am still a work in progress. Believe me. But I now I am both living it as well as witnessing it, and I am... awake. And that makes all the difference. 

Back to Love

We are love. And we all need love. In a spiritual sense, but also in some embodiment in this physical reality. 

Don't take this to mean that I am only referring to romantic love - that you must find a partner in life, or that if you don't have one you are a failure. Not at all. We all have our own stories, our own lessons to learn, and love comes in many forms. When you are in tune with yourself and your path, you are also in tune with where your story is going, and who is involved in it. It's all about manifesting whatever form of love you need to be complete. It could be love of self, it could be familial love, it could be love for the earth, anything.

In my case, this incarnation is all about reconnecting with the divine feminine and my spiritual heritage of goddess worship. I resisted it for a long time, because at first I could not understand the inherent power within vulnerability, but I kept being thrown into environments that forced me to face my fears.  Over time I embraced it, I learned to see the beauty, power, and courage within the feminine. It is truly awe inspiring, and fills me with an overpowering sense of home and love. Everything I do is centered around emotional and physical self care, around empowering and supporting women. I see their strength, I feel their energy and that of the. I pulsate with Gaia through my root chakra. As such, I am also very much drawn to the divine masculine, and need a strong presence representing it in my life. To lift me up when I am overly grounded, to complement me. To live in Harmony. I am strong but I accept and welcome the opportunity to be vulnerable in anothers arms. 

Inner work > Awakening > Manifestation > Recognition

This is the path to bringing love into your life, no matter the form. In your practice, think of it as a progression:

1. Reflection

2. Gratitude

3. Action

4. Manifestation

5. Recognition

Reflect on who you are. Where you have been. Who you have know and what you have lived. And how this has shaped who you are. Face the darkness within and find the light. Discover who you were, who you are, and who you were meant to be. 

Be grateful for all the experiences that have shaped you. Don't just say it, but address any anger and resentment you have, look at it head on, work through it until you have let it go and you find acceptance. 

Take action and make choices in your daily life that reinforce your truth. Care for your body, continue to reflect, and learn to witness and maintain your centre even during difficult situations. Be true. This will take time.

Manifest in detail the love you are ready to come into your life. In exhaustive detail. Silly or not. Include it. 

Recognize the people or other forms of love that come into your life, and welcome them with open arms and an open heart. 

And remember: The only joy greater than union is reunion!

What kind of love will you manifest?

So you’ve gone through the steps, you’ve faced your demons with kindness and understanding and strength and come out stronger for it. You’re ready. What you need to complete your journey is ready for you. Outline it, feel it, live it, and so it shall be.

This is what I manifest and choose for myself… What about you?

I manifest... 

I have been, and am continually cycling through the stages of reflection/gratitude/action. It is a cyclic and ongoing journey. I am living my truth and following my path to the best of my ability. And I am also finally ready to manifest the person that is going to come into my life - when he in turn is ready. There is no rush.

So here you are universe, silliness and all <3


is my rock. I can depend on him no matter what.

has integrity, it is a part of his being just as it is a part of mine. 

understands that love is not just words, but action.

says he is there for me, and he is. His every action reflects it.

believes deeply in open communication and transparency.

doesn't always know what I need or what to do, but when he doesn't, simply asks.

accepts my faults and my tendency to become overly logical when under stress.

loves food and has an adventurous palate.

likes to make breakfast. I love to cook, but there is nothing like waking up to the scent of food being lovingly made in the morning. 

likes to read and will take the time to read the books that I love to get to know me better (I will do the same for him). 

takes the time to get to know my quirks and my past, just as I do his.

understands my complex health history and journey and the role that holistic healing has played in it, and thus its importance to me.

knows that money and status is never worth losing a relationship over. If he makes a poor decision financially or professionally, he does not keep it from me, and feels safe discussing it with me, knowing that I accept him no matter what. 

understands that my fear of large bodies of water stems from my father's passing, and is willing to carry me into the ocean one day, and just stand there with me until I feel safe again.

knows how far I have come in healing and respects my limitations in sports and swimming, and does not pressure me but just stands strong supporting me until I am ready.

is willing to go for long walks and bike rides with me.

loves mountains and little towns with second hand book stores.

is willing to practice contact dance with me, and learn acro yoga

scoffs at the convention of spending 30 grand + on a wedding. 

is open to living in New Zealand. 

is spiritually open and doesn't blink in surprise when I tell him I had a vision during a meditation.

surprises me for no reason. 

treats us both to weekends at my favourite getaway so we can get away from the hustle and bustle and just... be.

is silly. 

doesn't mind that I call everyone I meet "hun" or "love".

is open to having munchkins if that is what the universe wills for us. 

has a good sense of humour, but sarcasm is not his status quo. 

chases me, and tackles me to the ground for kisses at every single opportunity. 

loves that I spend all of my time at home topless (if not naked) and doesn't try to dissuade me by citing the neighbors. (Do I look like I care? Because I don't and neither should my partner.)

appreciates the importance of education and life long learning and supports the long list of courses I want to take, and has a list of his own. 

has interests, passions, and creative goals.

does not make me choose between my dreams and goals and his needs. 

welcomes my loved ones into his life just as I welcome his and goes out of his way to learn about them.

observes what I or my loved ones need, and helps out of his own volition with the little things.

wants to get to know my family in Russia, and makes the effort to connect with them.

knows how important my father was and is to me, and will come to the cemetery with me when I need him to.

knows at least a few words in my language or is willing to learn, and is able to tell me that he loves me Russian.

has a very very healthy libido because if he's ready to go, I am too.  

is mobile, flexible, and strong, is comfortable with himself, has a very kinky sense of passion and endurance.

is very affectionate in public, continually, and will frequently act in ways most people would consider inappropriate but that I consider necessary.

may notice other women as a function of being human, but does not act on it and goes out of his way to make me feel special to him no matter what. 

is open to building a sustainable home one day, with a giant open kitchen, a roomy bathroom with a claw foot tub, and lots of space. 

has a good circle of friends that he likes to spend quality time with.

has healthy ways of coping with stress.

is just as happy rocking out to classic rock, or folk music (both loudly) or attending a classical concert.

fully supports my lingerie obsession (OBSESSION - seriously!)

loves the smell of essential oils (I smell like them all the time!)

blasts the music in the car and likes going for long drives with no particular destination.

is open to learning how to play hang drums with me.

takes the time to read my articles and poetry, to get to know me better. 

likes farmers markets and ethically sourced food, and is open to at least reading ingredient labels. 

understands how being the daughter of an artist and an energy healer shaped me and loves that about me. 

is a gentleman. 

is just as interested in staying in to watch a movie as he is going to the opera or a museum.

is interesting in learning several languages, if he does not know them already. 

likes sports but does not sacrifice our sex life for them - he knows how to multi task while watching the game. 

lets me be vulnerable around him. I am strong, but with him I don't need to be. 

introduces me proudly to acquaintances and friends that we run into. 

is strong, and has no qualms about throwing me over his shoulder in public and in the bedroom. Often. 

wants to explore tantra. 

treats me like a goddess. 

sings along with me to our favourite songs. 

loves animals. 

is compassionate, and open towards people of all cultures, creeds, and sexual orientations.

grinds and dances with me in the kitchen whenever there is music playing (which is all the time). 

calls me his woman, "dorogaya", "solnishko", "ma chere", and "mon amour".

claims what is his and what is important to him.

will fight for us in the difficult times. Because the things worth having are those worth fighting for.

has history and baggage as well all do, but lives from a place of truth and love and prioritizes our relationship. 

knows what it is experience loss, and so treasures every moment he has with those he cares for. 

.... Hear that, universe? I say it with love, and so it shall be. 

Take your time. I'll be over here, doing my work, with an open mind and an open heart. 

- Varya.